Retiring

It's been a long time coming, but I finally decided after looking at my calendar and seeing NO free weekends until late June that I need to let something go. It is with sadness and relief that I announce that I am retiring from NCAC for the year and will not be riding my bike. Beside, 4 days on a bike is a LONG time.
Not to worry -- your contributions are going to go a long way toward making someone's life a little better.

Thanks for all your support thus far. I very much appreciate it!

When did you choose not to be gay?

In case you missed The Daily Show last night (I actually never see the Daily Show because I don't have that channel, but . . .), here's a clip where Jon Stewart takes on Mike Huckabee re the gay marriage issue.**

So anyway -- it's a good clip and interesting conversation. I think I use the word 'interesting' too much, which is interesting.






Day without a gay: seems to be somewhat successful in that there has been a lot of press coverage. But what do I do with that? I read *&#@! comments on the news articles. I can't tell if I live in an incredibly conservative area, or if the same 10 people are commenting over and over. One guy said that this was an admission that being gay is a sickness (calling in gay is the same as calling in sick) and that gays should use the day to get medical treatment (maybe there's a pill. or a shot). Some said they were glad that there wouldn't be any gays at work or on the roads because they don't want the gays in their midst.
Sort of calls up the sentiment that went something like this (I can't remember where I heard this, but I can't take credit): "Prop 8 is about marriage as much as the bus boycotts were about the transit system in Montgomery, Alabama."*

The result of what I decided: I didn't call in gay and I didn't do much except not buy anything for the day (so far!). I took Jana's comments to heart re: being relatively private about my life in general and that it carries over to work. I figured out today what my discomfort is: calling in 'gay' brings a protest into the office, where it does not belong (at least in my world). Maybe I'm just a wimp and making excuses. On the whole, I work with great people, which is nice. There are some exceptions. . . as usual.

** Thanks Bronwyn for sending it along!
*In case this is only clear in my own head, it seems that people have veiled their fear and hatred with a cloak of "marriage," but this is not about marriage . . . per se.

Calling in Gay

Tomorrow, Human Rights Day, has also been dubbed, "A day without a gay." As a form of protest, folks are encouraged to "call in gay" to work, not spend any money, and volunteer with a local non-profit/human rights organization. The "gay dollar" is estimated at $700 billion annually.

I'd like to comment on this effort, but I'm really not sure what to say. I'm all for making one's voice heard (in a peaceful manner), and protests in large scale are good ways to accomplish this. I've thought about trying a little harder to come out to people who probably don't know I'm "one of them" and not spending any gay dollars, rather than not going to work. There would be no backlash at my office if I didn't go to work -- I'd just have an extra-big pile of stuff to do on Thursday. And I'd have to use a vacation day, and I've used a bunch this year for family stuff.
I would probably be uncomfortable not going to work and in sending a message to my division (our practice here to let folks know we won't be in) saying that I'm 'calling in gay.'
Hmmm -- that's interesting. Why is it uncomfortable? I think in part it's because there's always been a "professional me" -- this "professional me" does not pretend she's straight nor is she closeted or ashamed -- and the rest of me, whether it's the "personal me" or "private me" or whatever. My bike riding comes up at work because I miss work to do it, and those people I know well, I ask to support the ride. I'm a gay attorney, but at my office, it's the "attorney" part that's important and directly impacts what I'm doing minute to minute. The gay me doesn't just hang out and wait for 5 o'clock, she's always there -- it's just me. I tend to compartmentalize things (gets problematic when applied too stringently), so maybe this is a form of compartmentalizing my thoughts and politics and activism and career and work relationships.

Maybe it's just because I'm uncomfortable coming out in some situations and I'm not sure if I want 'a day without a gay' to dictate how it's done. Argh. I don't know. I think in reading this, I see the same fears that I encourage other people to try to face. I might just need to find a way to participate in this day without 'calling in gay' to do it.

I'll report back.

Dear Mom,

I'm not going to pick any fights with any stupid jerks. Even if they deserve it.

Don't worry.

Love,
Heather