Tomorrow, Human Rights Day, has also been dubbed, "A day without a gay." As a form of protest, folks are encouraged to "call in gay" to work, not spend any money, and volunteer with a local non-profit/human rights organization. The "gay dollar" is estimated at $700 billion annually.
I'd like to comment on this effort, but I'm really not sure what to say. I'm all for making one's voice heard (in a peaceful manner), and protests in large scale are good ways to accomplish this. I've thought about trying a little harder to come out to people who probably don't know I'm "one of them" and not spending any gay dollars, rather than not going to work. There would be no backlash at my office if I didn't go to work -- I'd just have an extra-big pile of stuff to do on Thursday. And I'd have to use a vacation day, and I've used a bunch this year for family stuff.
I would probably be uncomfortable not going to work and in sending a message to my division (our practice here to let folks know we won't be in) saying that I'm 'calling in gay.'
Hmmm -- that's interesting. Why is it uncomfortable? I think in part it's because there's always been a "professional me" -- this "professional me" does not pretend she's straight nor is she closeted or ashamed -- and the rest of me, whether it's the "personal me" or "private me" or whatever. My bike riding comes up at work because I miss work to do it, and those people I know well, I ask to support the ride. I'm a gay attorney, but at my office, it's the "attorney" part that's important and directly impacts what I'm doing minute to minute. The gay me doesn't just hang out and wait for 5 o'clock, she's always there -- it's just me. I tend to compartmentalize things (gets problematic when applied too stringently), so maybe this is a form of compartmentalizing my thoughts and politics and activism and career and work relationships.
Maybe it's just because I'm uncomfortable coming out in some situations and I'm not sure if I want 'a day without a gay' to dictate how it's done. Argh. I don't know. I think in reading this, I see the same fears that I encourage other people to try to face. I might just need to find a way to participate in this day without 'calling in gay' to do it.
I'll report back.
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1 comment:
Don't you think any one of us - gay or straight - would be uncomfortable telling our department or division or fellow wait staff, or however it applies, something hugely personal in a blanket email format? Especially someone who is so intensely personal, as I have come to know you to be? I really believe that if you examine it that you are not concerned about coming out but more about sharing something about your life outside of work. You sometimes state, and it’s one of my favorite Seinfeld episodes, that you don't like your worlds colliding. A lot of people are that way. I had not realized that tomorrow was Human Rights Day. I can’t call into work due to the time I am already taking off this month but I can certainly refrain from spending money to support the effort. Thank you for sharing. Maybe I should start looking at the little words on my calendar – J.
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